


the wizard on the hill

by crownsandbirds



Category: SHINee
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, Slow Burn, based off of howl's moving castle, kind of, the jongkey is one-sided, witch!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 16:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11108478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownsandbirds/pseuds/crownsandbirds
Summary: It was a lonely night, not unlike many other nights up in that hill. Only the moon, an infinite number of stars and a tiny cozy shack snuggled in between it all. Just outside the shack, barely illuminated by a small lantern, a young man watched the sky.On that night, a star fell.





	the wizard on the hill

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eorumverba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eorumverba/gifts).



> birthday fic for my beautiful girlfriend. hope you enjoy it.

It was a lonely night, not unlike many other nights up in that hill. Only the moon, an infinite number of stars and a tiny cozy shack snuggled in between it all. Just outside the shack, barely illuminated by a small lantern, a young man watched the sky.

It was all he ever did at night, had been ever since he’d moved, himself and his home, to the isolated, welcoming hill. He did a number of things during daylight; practiced his spells, set up his potions, read his books, listened to the neighboring villagers who sought him for help. Sometimes he went on walks through the woods nearby, sometimes he travelled to other cities and villages to buy supplies. Every so often, when the sky was clear and he was feeling just a bit more socially apt, he packed his things and paid his old friends a visit. But all he did at night was sit on his chair, light up his lantern and watch the stars. 

There were many of them. Before installing his sentient house in its current place, the young wizard had never been much interested in astronomy or space. Now, it had become a strong hobby of his, searching into big books the names of stars and constellations. He delighted in calling them each by name, as if beckoning an old, loved friend. There was a specific one, though, that had caught his eye ever since he'd first come across that special piece of land during one of his never-ending trips. It was a strange little star. Bluer than the others, it seemed, warmer. Somehow, it seemed sadder. Sometimes the man thought he could see it pulse slightly, as if it was a human heart. He'd searched in his books for its name; but so far it appeared to be unnamed, far from the eyes of everyone else other than the wizard in the hill. 

On that night, the star fell. 

It had been a most uneventful day, nothing extraordinary. Tae - that was the wizard's name - was sitting on his comfortable chair as always, sipping on a warm cup of hot chocolate, watching his beloved star pulse in the midst of the pitch-black palette it belonged to. It was there - suddenly, it wasn't anymore. Tae sat up, bewildered and a little bit lost, as the star collapsed across the sky in a mess of bright, heartbreaking colors. He clutched tightly to his cup; it felt like a piece of his soul had fallen too. It was a beautiful event, the falling. And, because of that, even sadder. There was no explosion, no shards of comets, just colors and then silence. 

The wizard gently placed his hot chocolate on the wooden porch of his shack and ran to the general spot where the star had fainted. The grass was soft against his knees as he ran, the sky as unmerciful and eternal as ever. 

There, laying on the ground, soft like a cloud, rested an unconscious person. Tae felt the tip of his fingers itch, magic reacting to magic, as he analyzed the beautiful, ethereal face of the star. For they had to be the same thing, the person and the star. They didn't seem to be breathing; their chest glowed with a sick, too-bright shade of blue that hurt Tae’s eyes, but that he seemed to be unable to look away from. Inside their ribcage, there seemed to weakly pulse a strange heart, biologically inhuman, barely alive. The wizard had the sensation it was shattered from the inside, like a cracked glass a breath away from exploding in tiny shards. 

Looking back on it a few days later, Tae couldn’t quite place what exactly had made him take that starry heart into his own chest. Maybe it was love already, maybe pity, maybe the anguish that comes with seeing something beautiful on the verge of dying. Whatever it was, it got him kneeling down on the grass and gently placing his small hands on the star’s chest, focusing his magic on his palms and dragging the shattered heart out of its prison. It came out easily, weak as it was, not being able to cling to its owner’s body anymore. It glowed with the dust that the universe was made of, shiny and indescribable. Tae felt a hot tear slide down his face as he brought the tiny galaxy against his chest, as it made itself home on his own body, glowing under his skin. It hurt a bit; but his own heart had always been small and not very strong in matters of expressing itself, so it managed to shrink even more to make room to the alien organ. 

The wizard suddenly understood why the star had fallen; no ordinary human could take that amount of heartbreak. He ached all over, like some fundamental part of him was burning. He recognized it immediately, that awful, empty, hollow ache. Hadn’t he experienced it so many times over his long life? Being used to the feeling, although unused to dealing with it so intensely, specially when it didn’t even come from himself, he managed to get himself together with nothing more than a few tears and some loud, broken sobs. The star was breathing easily now, as if a burden had been taken away from them. Tae only had to think for a second before taking them into his arms. They were extremely light, as if their bones were filled with stardust, as if their blood was air. The young man walked slowly back to the shack, shivering as the night grew bigger and colder than before. 

 -

 “Who are you?”

The voice was melodious and soft, but demanding. Tae turned from his breakfast preparations to stare into a pair of the brightest eyes he’d ever seen. 

“I’m Tae.” he answered politely. “Would you like to eat something?”

The star’s face lighted up in recognition. Tae thought he might faint from the sheer beauty of all the expressions the person made. “I  _ know _ you. You’re the one who just sits there every night.” they patted their chest in confusion. “Why do I feel so empty?”

The wizard walked towards them, took their hand and placed it gently against his own chest. The starry heart beat faster, anguished and lost and so broken. “I took your heart. You fell.”

 The star furrowed their brows. “I…fell. Okay, I can understand that, but why did you take my heart? It was none of your business. I can’t even feel anger right now. I can’t feel anything.”

“You were almost dying. Your heart was broken. I thought I might save you.” that was not the whole truth. Small steps. 

“Why?" the word came out in a bite that didn't get far. "It’s not your heart to deal with.” 

Tae smiled a bit. “Because I wanted to. Don’t worry, I’ll give it back. When it heals. Now, would you like something to eat?"

-

The star's name was Jonghyun - at least, that was the closest translation from the language of the universe the two of them managed to come up with. Tae thought it was beautiful. Shiny, sparkly, a bit melancholic. 

It was weird at first, having someone around. The wizard had just started to get comfortable with silence and loneliness, and now he had to get used, yet again, to listening to someone else's footsteps, to hearing a voice other than his own, to have someone to bid good morning to. Jonghyun kept mostly to their own, not meddling around too much, content enough to spend the whole day reading books from Tae's impressive library. But they liked asking questions, they liked to understand how things worked, and they got bored too fast, too often, in a daily basis, in such a way that Tae was forced to always keep at least an hour or two in his schedule to pay some undisrupted attention to Jonghyun. Sometimes, the hour or two stretched, taking all the hours in the day. 

"How does it feel?" they asked once when the two of them were busy making lunch. The star had been a very clumsy cook at the start, unable to properly pick up a knife, but they had been slowly making progress. "My heart?"

Tae didn't look up from his work. "Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"So broken." he didn't ask what'd happened. It wasn't the right time yet. 

"It's weird. Not feeling. I mean, I do feel some stuff. Vague sensations. But it's like my emotions are underwater. It's blurred. I'm aware I should be angry at you for taking my heart, but it's like I'm unable to do so. I'm only vaguely annoyed right now." 

"Do you mean I vaguely annoy you?" the tiny galaxy inside his chest pulsed in pain, like it was crying. It always felt like that - broken, shattered, painful. Tae spent the whole day on the verge of tears, shuddering in agony. He wondered what could possibly have hurt a star like that, what could possibly have shot right through them hard enough to send them spiraling out of the sky. 

“Kind of.”

“Does my food annoy you?”

 The corner of Jonghyun’s lips twitched in an almost-there smile. “Not really.”

“It’s a good first step as any.” 

 -

 Jonghyun was impressed by Tae’s magic. They’d been used to his face and manners and general behavior, since they’d apparently been watching him during most of the nights, but they’d never had the chance to actually see him do magic, so there was always a slightly fascinated gasp or a muttered appreciation when Tae used his skills to do banal things like wash the dishes or tidy the house. 

 Speaking of which. It had taken a few days for the house to get used to the newcomer. It was a temperamental little building, moody and with very strong opinions about people and places. A bit angry about the sudden new arrival, it had made valiant efforts to make Jonghyun’s day-to-day life just that bit harder, including making they slam their toe on stuff and fall over random things and lose everything they set down on any surface. After some time, though, the house had decided the star meant no apparent harm and, to both Tae’s and Jonghyun’s relief, had left them alone. 

“How did you learn all that stuff?” they asked, vaguely bewildered as Tae gestured for the books to fly back to their spots on the shelves. 

Tae shrugged, picking up a stray book on the floor. “Reading a lot, mostly. Can’t quite remember, to be honest. Some older wizards and witches taught me some things, but most of it was by trial and error and reading just about everything that fell into my hands.” he sent the volume flying to its shelf. “How about you? What is it like, being a star?” 

Jonghyun considered the question. “Somewhat boring. Not much to do. It’s cold up there, it can get lonely when you lose sight of your friends because of city pollution. That’s why I stayed around here most of the time. I did go to other places during the day, though. Watched humans come and go, took a look into their lives. It kept things more interesting.”

The heart inside Tae’s chest spasmed in agony, as if it was being remembered of the source of its pain. It was a little bit better now, just a little less broken. Tae had hopes. Maybe in two or three weeks it’d be strong enough to go back to its owner. For now, the wizard turned away from Jonghyun to let a single tear slip down his face, just enough to soothe the hurting galaxy snuggled between his ribs. 

-

"Don't you get lonely here?" Jonghyun asked once as they helped Tae to open up the many windows. It was a full moon night, and Tae needed to recharge his tools. The star watched in amusement as his host set everything down. 

"Actually, yes. But I guess I've had quite a long life. I've spent most of it surrounded by a lot of people. Too many experiences. I just wanted some silence for a while, I think." 

"What kind of experiences?" 

Tae smiled, a little bitterly, a little kindly. "All of them. Love, friendship, victory, defeat, despair, joy. Pain. A lot of it." 

"So you  _ have _ been in love." 

The wizard glanced to Jonghyun; they seemed to shine in the moonlight, a dim, silvery light. Tae looked away quickly, back to his magic things, but he could feel Jonghyun's curious eyes on the back of his neck. He wondered if it was really necessary to wait for a full moon. The star seemed to be bright enough. 

"Of course I have." he answered. Names and faces flashed through his mind, some so old they were coming apart at the edges, some recent enough to still be sharp as a knife. 

"How was it like? Being in love?" 

Now Tae looked straight at them. A tiny, resignated laugh escaped his lips. "Painful. Frustrating. Fulfilling, sometimes. The best kind of despair."

 Jonghyun sat down next to him on the floor. The enchanted tools glowed a little in the dark room. They placed a gentle hand to his chest. "How does this feel?"

For the first time since the rescue, Tae didn't hide the hot tear sliding down his face. "What happened to you?" he grabbed the star's hand, pressed it even more tightly against the beating heart, voice shattering a bit. 

 Jonghyun laughed, a small, sad sound. "It's funny. I can't remember what it felt like, but I can remember the reason."

 -

Two days later, a fine, sharply blue morning, Jonghyun sat Tae down on the fluffy grass in front of the house and started talking. 

Jonghyun had never learned their actual, real name. Some people called them Key, some called them Kibum, among many other endearing variations and pet names. The star had found them about a year ago, somewhere to the east, many kilometers away from the wizard and his hill. A big city, with buildings and a lot of artificial lights that outshone out the universe, too many people walking on the streets, too many people everywhere. Jonghyun had first seen them in an absurdly stormy night. Key was running on the sidewalk, head lowered, trying to escape the rain, trying to find some shelter. Of course, Jonghyun hadn't known their name then. A few weeks later, after searching up and down the huge, grey city, the star saw them again, working in a small art studio, seemingly the only colorful place in the entire town. They were covered in drops of paint from head to toe, gesturing wildly with two paintbrushes in their right hand, smiling so beautifully the sun was caught between their teeth. 

Key lived in a tiny, worn-out apartment near the art studio. Jonghyun didn't know much about economics, but they didn't seem to have much money. They closed the blinds during the night, so the star could never watch them sleep, but the first thing they did in the morning was hastily open both the blinds and the window and smile with their eyes closed to the rising sun. Jonghyun was so jealous; the sun could kiss them, could warm up their cheeks and feel the curve of their lips. 

They watched. Watched and wanted and wished. Followed the artist around, saw them interacting and talking. Learned their favorite type of coffee the time they'd went to a coffeeshop with a glass window. Found out they almost always slept in, which forced them to bolt out of the small apartment and run to the studio, but never stopped them from leaning out of the window and grinning to the sunlight.

It had been weird, falling in love. Painful. It had taken Jonghyun a whole week to actually find a name to describe the emotion. That despairing emptiness, the urgency, the  _ want.  _

Jealousy was the worst part. Apparently, Key was an affectionate person; they hugged and laughed and held hands and clung to people. It was just a bit more obvious, a bit more evident with one of their colleagues. It took a month for them to get the guts to ask the other out. Jonghyun followed them during their date, hidden behind a tree to watch the two laugh and eat in a cheap little restaurant. One, two, three times. The fourth time, Key had placed their hand on the other's face and kissed them sweetly. Jonghyun's light was blood red for a whole week.

The star cried a lot. They were lost and confused and didn't know what to do. It hurt so badly, every day just a bit worse than the other, seeing the two artists walk around the city, exchange coffee and conversations and light kisses, smile to each other during work, splash each other with bright paint.

Jonghyun was unable to bear it for longer than a year. They'd postponed their leave for as long as possible, but one night Key left the blinds open and his lover was there, holding them tightly, their naked skin glowing in the dark bedroom. Jonghyun ran away, a mess of colors in the polluted city sky as they wept it all out in a white-hot mixture of blue and violet.

They had run away as far as possible, until they'd found a small hill in the middle of nowhere with a cozy shack clinging to it. Still, memories don't go away, and a broken heart can't be fixed. Not even with a handsome, lonely wizard stargazing every single night, his face open and gorgeous and curious. 

-

"You know I should be in love with you by now, don't you?" Jonghyun's eyes were sharper now, smarter and quicker. 

Tae smiled - his own small, inexpressive heart beat faster at the thought, for once making itself known. "I don't know. Should you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I feel something. But vaguely. I've felt this before, though. I know this feeling. I don't have my heart, but my mind remembers some of it."

"Oh." Tae kept his eyes at the chocolate cake he was trying to make. "I don't mind, though. Being in love with you is fine for now."

"But I want to feel it too." 

 -

It was an endless night, the sky exploding with an infinite number of stars. 

The tiny galaxy went back to its owner like a key in a lock: perfectly, even if it had to twist some feelings to open Jonghyun's soul again. Their eyes glistened with tears and entire universes. 

Tae put his hand to their chest; their heart fluttered like a butterfly underneath his fingers. "How does it feel?"

Jonghyun placed their hand on Tae's face and kissed him. And kissed him and kissed him, as the night dissolved in stars. 

_ Like this. _

-

In a big city, far away from the wizard on the hill, an artist watched the sky and had the vague impression that something was missing, both from the night and from his heart. Their lover clung to him tighter in his sleep; the artist smiled lovingly. They wondered if they could take him stargazing next time.

**Author's Note:**

> any Studio Ghibli fans? this was loosely based off of Howl's Moving Castle. this is not my usual writing style, but i figured it'd fit the atmosphere better. it's small and clumsy because i wrote this during sleepless nights in the middle of senior year, but i hope it's not that bad.


End file.
